(101 stories from the therapy room)

(A non-clinical approach to psychotherapy and counselling)

The client was sharing his progress. He’s now reconnecting with common family friends whom he had been avoiding for some time. His fear of being judged for not being able to hold his family together had weighed heavily on him. However, when he finally met his friends, their understanding and support were a breath of fresh air. This provided the client with immense relief and joy.

While the client’s progress was being discussed, something rather peculiar was happening to me.  – this article delves into how there can be unspoken experiences that the therapist goes through during sessions.

While listening to the client’s progress, I found myself inexplicably feeling drowsy and started wondering if I had indulged in a heavy meal. Could that be the reason for my sleepiness?

The client continued to share how he was making healthier food choices.

The drowsiness persisted, and my head was threatening to nod off. I pondered if perhaps I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep, causing this drowsiness.

The client then began talking about getting a haircut, buying new clothes, and sprucing up his house.

I struggled to concentrate, and my eyelids felt like lead. But this time, my internal question shifted from meal choices and sleep to a more profound inquiry – “Why am I feeling so drowsy while the client shares this content?”

“What is it about the client that’s making me so sleepy?” A sudden flash of the phrase “feeling dead” crossed my mind, jolting me back to full alertness. I oscillated between this intriguing phrase and the client’s current narrative. My intuition chimed in, and I asked the client how he felt about not having contact with his daughter. This marked a significant shift, as the client had primarily spoken about his wife and rarely mentioned his daughter during our sessions. To my surprise, the client opened up, revealing, “I overheard my 7-year-old daughter saying she’s losing her image of her father. Hearing this broke my heart, and I miss her conversations, her company, and the joy we used to share.”

As the client progressed from feeling lost to taking charge of his life, the grief of losing his daughter began to surface. My sleepiness represented this unaddressed, active grief within the client. When I realized the sleepiness was something I needed to give attention to, it provided an entry point for the client to confront his grief. We acknowledged a part of the client that had felt emotionally “dead” due to the loss of contact with his daughter. As part of his progress, he decided to rekindle his relationship with his daughter.

Conclusion: An unspoken language exists between the client and the therapist. Deciphering this language and conveying the message to the client lays the foundation for a transformative healing journey.