101 stories from the therapy room

(A non-clinical approach to psychotherapy and counselling)

A long time client wanted to work on a dream that had left him agitated and scared. I told the client that every symbol in a dream is a representation of the self in different forms. I proposed that we look at how each symbol interacts with another and use that content to construct a narrative. Once the client forms a narrative it gives scope for introspection and interpretations. 

The client narrated that in the dream he entered a room in his house, it was lit by a lamp but it was very dark and looked like an interrogation room. The room had a bed and appeared messy with clothes all around. There was a curtain covering the window and a garbage bag filled with clothes.

Using the dream, the client chose the interaction between the lamp and the messy clothes. “The lamp said to the messy clothes, ‘Life is going to be messy’ and the clothes replied, ‘Yes, it is’”. I asked the client how he felt listening to this interaction. The client said that it evoked fear in him that if he messed up in life then he would end up lonely with nobody to relate with. I felt this could be a cause for his anxiety while trying to forge intimate relationships. 

I asked, “Which other symbol do you think is willing to respond to the conversation between the lamp and clothes?” The client chose the curtain and it said, “If you open up, then the light will come in.” I paused here for further reflections. Since the client spoke about opening up and allowing more light  to come in,  I thought his fear and anxiety would reduce.

Contrary to my assessment the client said, “I feel heavy.”  I asked him to describe his heaviness and he said that his heart was pounding, hands were becoming numb and there was a choking feeling in the throat. I requested the client to stay in contact with the heaviness without judging it as “heavy”. This full contact with the body sensations allowed a strong thought to surface from within, “You are going to end up lonely”. I asked the client to stay with that sentence to see where it leads. He stayed with it for a while and said, “Possibly I may end up lonely but the probability of ending up lonely is low.”  This was a beautiful shift in perspective. 

When the client thought “possibly I may end up lonely”, it activated anxiety rather than his potency. When the thinking shifted to, “the probability of ending up lonely is low” it activated the client’s capacity.  Further the client also was able to recall instances where his possibility of ending up as a failure was high but due to the efforts he puts in, he made the probability of failure less. This recall of his strength had an influence on the body also, the numbness in his hands, choking in the throat and heaviness in the chest also disappeared. Now with a conviction the client said, “Yes, there is a possibility I may end up lonely but the probability is low because I can do something about it, to work out the relationship”. 

Gaining this relief, I asked the client which other dream symbol is willing to respond now. The client chose the garbage bag. The garbage bag said, “Open me, sort out the garbage and organize appropriate places for what I have.”

I said to him, there are two major points we got from the dream. The curtain and the garbage bag both said, “open up”. The interpretation that the client made was, “I need to open up to relationships without fear but with the hope I can manage the demands of the relationship.” What is so difficult for the client about intimate relationships when compared to other challenges like, money, career, global position in the corporate world, is loss of control while in an intimate relationship. His being liked or not was not in his control, his need to have a strategy to avoid rejection was not a workable formula. Not knowing how to manage the chaos an intimate relationship brings, he avoided it, but then it led to loneliness. 

This dilemma got resolved when the client was willing to sort things being open rather than approaching with the preset formula. My idea of dream symbols led the client to find his own interpretation of his life encounter with women.  

As was I closing the session, my thoughts were, “dream work can help in getting awakened to life even when sleeping ”.