In making change

It’s the time of the year when resolutions made in the New Year are being implemented, results tested and the journey towards the set goal has begun.

Almost all resolutions involve changing something in us or our habits – anything that will make our lives healthier & happier. Having resolved to make some change, we start according to a plan. For a while, the changes are visible. However the challenge is to sustain change consistently. Changes including personal changes like, waking up early in the morning, exercising, dieting and learning a new skill sometimes reach a point, where things appear stuck with little or no change. We feel as though we are back to our old ways and these moments can be frustrating. Why does this happen?

It is because we expect change to be linear. A straight line between a starting point and an end point. However in reality, the process of change is a non linear phenomenon. There are many setbacks or ups and downs we may experience before we reach the desired goal. These fluxing moments can be frustrating and what will make a difference is the way we handle these moments of frustration. Handling change process involves four dimensions. Perception, Action, Resting period and Acceptance.

Perception:- experiencing set back during the process of change is unavoidable. When we perceive such setbacks as our failures we may feel frustrated and be hostile with ourselves. We may blame ourselves or the situation. We may also be self critical. All this will add fuel to our frustration and tempt us to give-up the our goal .If we learn to see a setback as a feedback mechanism, it will help us. Feedback gives us an opportunity to assess, what we could do differently till we get the desired result.

Action:- Having healthy perception towards change is alone not sufficient. Some changes can only be made by consistent action. The new action is like a tennis game played between the old way of living and the new way of life. In the play of change, when the old way wins one point, workout ways in such a way the new change process wins two points. In this way one can continue to act till the new change becomes consistent.

Resting period:- Action at all times does not help in making a change. Sometimes it’s good to take rest in-between the journey. This resting period can sometimes help us to find creative solutions to make our change process a success.

Acceptance:-There are times when we make our best actions and still we don’t get the required results. In such situations it is helpful to remember , “change is not only determination to make something, it is also a courage to let go of something”. This attitude helps to accept the situation as it is. At such times it is wise to accept certain limitations and to get on with life with the prayer of Reinhold Niebuhr “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”.

Consciously using these four dimensions perception, action, resting period and acceptance at appropriate times in the process of making any change will help in effectively handling the fluctuations experienced in the journey of making a change.