Is your dream goal a flash light? Fire? or light house?

One of the common queries the readers of EDEX have been asking me is how to deal with oneself when a person is unable to achieve their dream……

These are the few samples of how readers felt shattered when their dream were not achieved.“I want to become a doctor, I could not get through ,my life is doomed.” “ I am unable to get good marks in +2 and I feel worth less.” “I am unable to get through a government service exam, I am a failure” The common reason why achieving these goals become a difficulty is because of making the goal a flash light. When we stand before a flash light it is too bright that we cannot see anything. Sometimes we even close our eyes. Hence it is not only darkness which can blind us, even too bright light can blind us, some time when we stare at the sun shine we may not be able see things around us for a while. Similarly we make our dream goals too bright that we are unable to see many healthy options available around us. Lets see how we do this,

“living in a fantasy world”.

The fantasy world is like a boon or bane. Fantasy is a boon is we can be creative, bane is when we are not doing what is necessary to achieve our goals but we are substituting reality by imagining, how it will be once we have achieved our goals. We don’t realize the time is clicking. At the time of result, the reality strikes at face, living in fantasy comes to an halt. We feel shaken and lost. Hence fantasize and use the power of imagination to create new reality and experience fantasy as a boon of life .

The Dreamer is bigger than the dream

Don’t make your dream master of your life, you need to be the master of your dreams. However we may feel unworthy when our dream did not come true. This is because we are co-relating our self esteem and identity only with the success of our dream goal. when we miss our target we feel groundless and loose balance in life. A zen story says, there was bird standing in a tender branch. Though due to wind the branch was shaking, the bird did not loose any balance. The bird did not feel anxious that the branch may break, because it was depending on its wings and ablity to fly than being dependent of the branch to hold it safe. Your are the master of your life and your dream is a means to show you a path for your life journey. When we miss to achieve our goal we need to recall the old proverb “Many doors have opened when one door has closed”. Look for options, this will help in channelizing energy in new directions, this is possible when we are the master of our life and the designer of our life too”

Self limiting belief

Whennot being successful is becoming a pattern then it is good to check our belief about self and life. Example Unconscious believes like “I don’t want to grow beyond my parents”, “some want to be in competition with their siblings and friend, hence they over strain themselves to be successful and fail”.”Some are addicted to unhappiness and hence don’t want to be successful and experience happiness . “some don’t want other to feel happy so they want to fail, example a 13 year old told “if I pass, what ever my mother said will become true, so I wont pass” I remember not studying maths to prove to my teacher that he cant control me…these are the ways we burn ourselves in the process of making our dream a reality. It is good to become aware of such self sabotaging internal process and to let go of these limiting patterns.

Mastery of life happens when we Keep your dream as a light house, which can give direction, a guide to take steps towards a holistic life and don’t make it a flash light where we blind ourselves from our own magnificence . Now take time to see is your dream a flash light, a fire to burn self or a light house to guide.