Living in Rhythm

The art of being oneself and living in sync with the rhythm of life seems to be the most challenging struggle today. Though it is natural to be oneself, there is a lot of effort in being someone better than who we are. We seek to constantly add, remove or deny something of ourselves to make us feel worthy.

At a recent workshop I gave an exercise to the participants – to look at themselves in the mirror for 10 minutes continuously. The rule of the game was to have eye contact with the refection of self in the mirror.

As the participants looked into the mirror, they heard a lot of self criticism ranging from- you don’t exercise, look at your fat nose, see how dark you are, you haven’t completed the work , and so on and on. Most participants realized that they could hardly look at themselves for 3 minutes before their mind got diverted.

At this point, stop reading and if possible look at yourself in the mirror, to experience how it is for you……………

This simple exercise indicates how difficult we find it to be in contact with our selves. Being in contact with ourselves is being in sync with the rhythm of our life and accepting ourselves ‘as we are’. Our experience shapes our view of self. And often, it is not an event or an experience that is good or bad, but it is the labelling of self that occurs after the event or experience that causes harm. Negative self labelling is one factor that reduces contact with self and affects our rhythm of life.

With negative self labelling we do not like what we see, hear or feel about ourselves in comparison to what we think we should be. For example when a person who compares herself to a model in a fairness cream advertisement or a movie star who appears fair, the person is likely to visualise herself as being ‘unattractive’ and hence not worthy of love and attention. This negative labelling impacts her self image, disrupts her contact with herself, and fails to recognize her uniqueness. In trying to be like someone else, the natural rhythm of the individual is disturbed.

Fritz Perls, the famous Gestalt therapist said, the crazy person says, “I am Abraham Lincoln,” the neurotic says, “I wish I were Abraham Lincoln,” but the healthy person says, “I am I, and you are you.”

Stop negative labelling and affirm, “I am I and you are you”. That’s the only label with which we are to live in this world. In the coming few weeks I will share with you the factors that disturb the rhythm and the ways to regain our unique rhythm in life.